August 2005

30 August 2005

Time really does fly by - I have been so busy - that its been almost a month since I wrote a long entry in this diary. I am holding out, and doing OK..with the usual breathlessness problems on a daily basis and twinges/pains in my left lung...I can cope with it, although, I would rather it didn't occur!

My week away was fab! I spent time with my fiance relaxing in a Hotel and thankfully we had the sunshine! I ate so much, but was worth it - such yummy foods. On one day, we went to Colchester Zoo - which I enjoyed...not so much being in a wheelchair though. There was no way I could walk all the distance, and it was quite hilly in parts.

Since I have been back, I have seen loads of friends - I have got to stop eating out - as I will need to increase my gym intake...he he! It has been great going out and about seeing people - cheers me up. There have been some lows still along the way - especially after watching the week of post/pre transplant people on a TV programme called,"Do-Nations" last week. The reality hit home every night, as to what other people go through, and the fact that so many children also need life saving transplants. On the last part, I cried so much - its a tough journey emotionally...after the tears, and looking like a drowned lobster - I felt better! It was good however, to see the before and after of successful transplants.....that is the day I look forward too! I will be so happy, and probably drive everybody crazy with my new lungs!!

To all those who have been my oxygen "carriers" (you know who you are)...that will one day be no more, and also one day no more for me getting out of breath going up/down stairs..even bending down to put my trainers on. Oh..to normality and no breathing problems...hopefully soon!

I also am trying to adjust my eating regime..even though I am quite heathy, I would like to try a raw fruit and vegetable regime, after speaking to a friend who is very into alternative methods including what you eat. It is not easy, I have tried....I still like my take-aways, cheeses, and cooked meals etc...but, I would like to try to make my eating more raw foods - to help my immune system. I will keep you all posted.

Hopefully, I will be appearing on TV in October for National Donor Day to promote Donor Awareness.....watch this space for more details (obviously if I get "my call" I will not be able to do it - if I'm in hospital).

22 August 2005

Three Things that annoy me!

1) As I am now attached to metres of tubing and decide to move about the house..getting breathless. I somehow get the tubing stuck on something ie: corner of door, a shoe, a chair...then having to walk all the way back...getting breathless again...and then continuing back on my original movements!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..Its so frustrating!!!!!....

2) Not being able to talk and walk at the sametime (on a treadmill)...noticed it today..was impossible..I got so breathless!!??

3) I am working out at the gym with weights...and still not beefy like the Incredible Hulk...well Im only kidding there..no way I want to be beefy or have Popeye's Spinach type arms....although I may turn green with envy....oh..nothing to be envious over...oops...Im waffling now (ignore my moment of madness...ha ha).

Thats all for now....otherwise all is good...and my lung is still up..hip hip hurray!!

Well from being on the Sky News at the weekend (6/8/2005)...I received messages again from all over Europe..was amazing and so touching. I am glad that my message is getting out there about Donor Awareness and Lam Awareness...and my plight will still continue.

In one months time, I have an appointment back at Harefield Hospital - to have tests again, to make sure I am still ok to be on the waiting list. I thought I would have had my transplant by then (reality is...I doubt it)..and will be 4months waiting for a donor by then. Time flys quickly...and thats just it though..no one knows when the operation will take place...just will need to keep waiting and waiting...

I could say - that this element of waiting annoys me too..but there is no point in that - I have no control over this scenario and its outcome..all I believe is that it will come soon, and hopefully a speedy recovery.

Can you imagine what I am going through emotionally?...Doubt it, unless you are going through the same or had  a transplant..every day..thinking is it today..will I get new lungs in time..will my lung collapse again (and have to have another chest drain inserted)?....and so on...what a nightmare..living in a surreal reality!

Hmm..I cant complain otherwise..still venturing outside...and enjoying life as it is at the moment.