September 2005
22 September 2005
Hello everyone!
Things have been a bit smoother now - I feel that my life is getting better - probably as I have accepted my illness, and just making the most out of life at the moment. Of course, I still wish that new lungs would come soon, and that I do not experience any pains or breathlessness problems. But, that is how it is - and I have just got to get on with things now - until I get my call - and then my life back again!
Its strange these odd pains/sensations that I have inside, recently I described it as a popcorn machine...going pop..pop..each time a corn pops into an actual popcorn...sometimes making me bolt upright from sitting down, or having a one second electric shock and kind of jigging for a second..It feels like my lung is always having a party- and I always get an invite!! Last week, I felt so many wierd things inside - that I thought my lung was about to collapse again - so hard to explain - not a nice feeling at all. However, it didn't..and still hasn't...thankyou to who ever is looking over me.
I have been keeping busy - which is the main thing, as I have realised I need to do this to keep me happy and not think about things too much. The support I have around me is great, and it really makes a difference. Also the fact that I go to the gym 3 times a week now - for my mini sessions which is good - a feeling of normality again.
I mentioned before, that I was also looking into a raw fruit/vegetable regime...well..its actually harder than I thought..probably as I love all foods! I have eaten at least one raw meal a day - its quite yummy really...alot of prepping (the down side). But, I do feel better eating this kind of food. And, I really believe the saying, "You are what you eat", and I want to be as healthy as possible to function my inside as best as possible.
I still feel postive and happy with things (don't know how)...and yes, there have been some tears still...I guess, I need to release it every now and then. My realism sometimes even gets the better of me! But, the good news is - as soon as my tears release all my fears..I'm back laughing and in the full "Justine spirit" again!
I've also been doing some more paintings recently, which has kept me quiet for a while (for a change...he he). Hmm...I'm going to have some breakfast now. Take care everyone, and enjoy your day! xx Oh...and is there anyone watching, "Lost"..I'm hooked. Oh...and I think I've overdone frappucinos..... xx
09 September 2005
Just a quick message, to let everyone know - that my check up at Harefield Hospital went ok. My results are still about the same, and I am still fine to be on the waiting list. My next check up is March 2006 - I wonder if I would have had my new lungs by then? I met some wonderful people on my day at Harefield...believe it or not...I met another lady with Lam!
06 September 2005
I had a visiter last night - shocked me a bit as was so late, 12.30am! I didn't expect to see Geoffrey as he has not visited for a long while. I was thinking about him too as to whether he would show.....he was huge with 8 legs! And I tell ya.....I thought he was carrying my new lungs judging from the size of this spider!!
05 September 2005
It is now month number 3, that my lung has not collapsed. I feel lucky now - although, I shouldnt be - as anything could happen to me with my health. What a joy though, to not be struggling to breathe and gasp for air when my lung collapses. Ok, I still get breathless...but..I'd rather that..than not being able to breathe properly at all...and wondering if this is the end of the road for me. I keep thinking back to the nightmare when I was diagnosed in April, with my lung collapsing each month for 3 months in a row..the struggles and pains!...And now..how I am free of that for now..what a relief!
On Wednesday, I am going back to Harefield Hospital to have tests done to check that I am still ok to be on the waiting list. Funny, I thought I would already had new lungs by then...this waiting game...is not at all fun!
I am now doing research into the law, wishing that it should change to make everyone a Donor, and perhaps an opt out system for those who do not want to be organ donors. I will write more on this soon.
Also I have sold Lam Bracelets - which was a success - raising £85 in total for Lam Action. I have ordered another 40 from the Lam Line - which I am selling soon. From monies raised at the Trent Run back in June this year, I gave £300.00 to Lam Action to help continue research into finding a cure for this rare illness. Thank you to everyone who helped with this and purchasing the bracelets.
To a good week to everyone and to good health...."Cheers".
Bye 4 now,
Justine |
