justinelaymond.com

30th July 2006 5.15 p.m.
Aren't you all lucky...another entry from me again. I just wanted to share with all - my fab night out at a friends house who had a BBQ!!!!!! Hurray!!! I finally get to have a proper BBQ and see lots of buddies at the same time. It felt strange at first seeing everyone all at once - but great to see people and start to feel normal again.

I really enjoyed my night out, and although it was fun, I only stayed about an hour and a half...as I was exhausted afterwards...and I still need to take it easy and not go overboard and wear myself out.

This morning, I was in lots and lots of pain - so lots of painkillers were on the breakfast menu! Also, I have done lots of stairs - back at Jon's, my mate (wherby I am using the internet), the friend who had the BBQ, and at Jon's Mum's....phew...enough physio for me!!

So another day, another day forward...roll on 2 months - pain free time..please. Speak soon xx

29th July 2006 8.00 p.m.
Hurray!! Nearly 6months later, I finally leave hospital minus oxygen and with a new pair of lungs. When I walked out of the hospital, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, as I felt very emotional. I am still in shock with all that I have been through, and where I have come along now. It is so hard to put it into words, where do I start, how do I explain my surreal reality? I have a future now, whereas I didin't know if I would get that opportunity. I am so lucky to be alive, and I have fought an awful battle all this time until now.

I feel better in myself, and amazing that I can breathe. The walking is coming along slowly, as I need to build this up over time. I also went to a pub last night - first time in over 6months - and I had deep fried mushrooms, and chicken skewers with peanut sauce (goodbye hospital grub!!). It was great to get out. I used the wheelchair a little to assist with the long walking. I am in pain daily, but that is part of the package, and I long for that to go - which in about 2months it should (standard recovery time).

I also feel quite shattered too, and I find myself needing to rest a lot - part of the healing process. Also, I need to put weight on - as I have lost weight again. Hopefully, with proper foods - that will get me back to 9 stone...which once upon a time I used to be.

Thats all for now - I'm loving all the messages - they keep me smiling - and hopefully when I get access to internet at home, I may be able to start replying to messages again. Take care and lots of love to you all for being so wonderful and kind to me throughout my illness.

I can now really feel a difference with my breathing - no more huffing and puffing at rest, and gasping for air. I know that there is still a while to go with my healing - and boy, that is sore! It feels as if my chest is tightening - which is a good sign of healing, but the wound still hurts. It is hard to sleep at night because of this. However, no pain - no gain.

I am starting to see that my life will re-build again because of the transplant. Up until that point - I didn't know if I was going to be lucky and get that chance. I have met some lovely people and spoken to who are waiting for transplants, and I so want all of them to get theirs! More people still need to sign up - afterall everyone is deserving of a chance at life.

I am taking loads of tablets now too - and getting used to that routine, with daily weight, temperature, and breathing tests (which I will be taught next week); all this becoming a daily schedule for the rest of my life.

I do feel happy now - and everything I went through - has been such a rollercoaster ride. One of the surgeons here said, "I have pulled through against all the odds"; and another person said, "We didn't think you would pull through I.T.U (when I was very ill in February/March this year). And now I have been told how quick my recovery has been - even though I have 3 nasty infections (which are all being treated).

I may be able to be discharged as early as next week - or the week after, depending on the infections. Wow...I am shocked!! And so are all the doctors!! At my progression as I am up walking about, and doing exercise.Its great to be able to breathe again, I can't explain that to you all. I used to struggle so badly and now, I feel normal again..whatever that is..as I havent been able to breathe properly for a very long time up until the transplant.

I do feel sad that someone lost their life for me - but the gift I have been given is one I will treasure forever, and take pride, care and joy in my new lungs.

Speak soon, and will update as and when I can.

Have a good week. XX

17th July 2006 (posted 5.50 p.m.)
" Well its been about one week since transplant..this is only a short entry for now, as I am typing like a puppet on a string with iv's in both hands..not the easiest way to type. Ive been ok...fighting off infections..just been told I have another one too - but all treatable.

I will write again soon..just wanted to say Hello, and thanks for all the wonderful cards and messages. Keep smiling. XX "

1st July (this was posted on 1st July but vanished into cyberspace and it has been re-added today 3.7.06 and we apologise for this delay)

"Heatwave alert!..Phew..it's hot!! Yesterday, I spent a couple of hours outside, and on returning to my room I laid down on the bed and konked out. The heat got to me and really drained me without realising. Well, I am a one not to let the sun ruin my day, especially when a barbeque is on offer! Hurray! Jon bought a disposable barbeque today and I ravished a hamburger and 2 chipolatas and prawns on skewers.....yum yum...and with all the trimmings (salad, cheese, and burger sauce..he he). It was great and like a normal day out...if I didn't have the wheelchair and oxygen, then I guess I would have felt even more normal. I always seem to miss out on barbeques as I have been ill, but what a joy that Jon did this - I was over the moon....yea..hip hip hooray!

I have also had a bath board fitted onto the bath, so that I can sit down and shower, instead of washing infront of a sink...which I have been doing for months (for the reason my breathing and movement had been not very good). However, I have improved so much with all the physio work, and was so happy to feel water run down me and not wash with just a cloth. Again, things we all take for granted, and that was my 2nd shower in nearly 5months! Today, I showered again, and now this will be a daily routine for me...another step to normality - yet again.

Are you all watching the football? Well, I have been converted to football mania by Jon, and getting into it for the first time this year....miracles upon miracles! Just need the miracle lungs now.

I also have been feeling a little scared re the transplant - knowing about the chronic rejection that could happen....its a wierd thought knowing this, and I hope that I do wake up firstly from the transplant soon after, and not 2-3 weeks later like my operation earlier this year. Also, how long will I live for? 1 year....5.....or many more? Will I be ok with chronic rejection, and live for many years, having drugs suppress the decline of my health? Who knows...maybe I will be lucky and have no problems...who knows? It is still a risk that I am prepared to take, even if I get 1 or 2 years..thats more than what I would get as I am at present.

I am starting to respond to messages on the guestbook now, and sorry if I am not able to respond to those over the last 4-5months...there have been too many - which I am not complaining about. Infact, those messages have been wonderful in keeping my spirits lifted and determination even stronger.