November 2006

November 2006

27th November

Monday morning blues....red onion eyes....speaking like I have a peg on my nose with a pepper pot stuck up my nostrils...running around with the Andrex dog to get toilet roll....pumpkin deep rooted eyes.....hey...don't I sound glam..he he. Have you guessed yet?......Yes..I have a cold...bar humbug! I'm soooooooooooooo tired too. Will write more soon when feel better. X

21st November

You know I wish I was never ill in a million years, but some great things have come through all of this. I have made some wonderful new friends - some of whom I have met with now and still to meet. My strength and self belief has been an amazing quality that helped pull me through and one that I didn't realise was as so. Also realsing those who really do care about me and finding out how much support and love there is in the world especially from strangers too. I have recieved so many cards (hundreds - no joke) and last week I sat down to have another look and at letters too bringing a tear to my eyes quite a few times. Getting all this post really cheered me up in times of need and realising that the simple things in life can really make a difference!

As I've said previously, I appreciate things so much more from being able to breathe and walk to hearing birds sing, to everything in life and every day and all that fills each day. Being at home cooking and cleaning...great to be let loose in the kitchen and get creative again with food. How wonderful it is to be able to drive and have freedom to go wherever whenever.

To realise that life is short and best to enjoy each day and keep smiling and stay positive. Not to worry about trivial things and if there is anything you want to do...don't think about it - JUST DO IT!! XX

15th November

"Woohoo Yabba Dabba Doo"....my lung function was good today! Will it stay or will it go?..Fingers crossed - it continues to go up. Besides that, I am feeling better now. It's amazing how big night outs really drain me now, and the pain from my back has gone too. I have another busy week - seeing friends each day and then time away with Jon (3 year anniversary)..then I will be resting for the following week - well a little...and then back to clinic on Thursday! Time is jumping ahead at full steam ahead.

I have also completed all my Xmas and Birthday pressies for everyone, so more relaxation for me over the December period with no panic.

10th November

Feeling tired for having a late night is acceptable....drinking and dancing all hours - maybe not...he he. I attended a wedding on Friday night - and what a wonderful event - congrats to Tom and Kelly!! Since being ill, I kinda lost my confidence with dancing and would always sit down and watch other people dance. Last night, was the first time in almost 2 years that I actually had a proper boogie and loved it! I still got breathless in parts and had to sit down every now and then. There was one girl who kept coming over to me - to tell me to get up and dance or at least shimmy whilst sitting down...ha ha! Well - thanks (to Becky) I obeyed and felt over the moon in doing so. It was wonderful to be able to dance with Jon again and let him swing me freely all over the dance floor - so many turns - I'm suprised that I never became dizzy. It was also fabulous to see so many friends all together and even have..."who has got the most scars competition"!!?? Yes..this did happen, as there was another girl who has had heart surgery from a young age and we giggled in the ladies comparing scars with 2 other friends also talking through our stories. However, one onlooker wasn't so impressed....oops...well...guess our conversation wouldn't be to everyone's taste.

I was supposed to attend another wedding tonight...and even though I was tired - maybe even hungover....as if...!?..thought that I would still be able to continue partying hard. Hmm...then I started to experience a pain in my lower back - where I've had shingles before too. Well, that was the final straw for me...I must now listen to my body and rest up if I don't feel well. So I am staying in watching the X- Factor and having a take-away and drinking lots of water. Best wishes to Sarge and Ange for their evening tonight..wish I was there to celebrate with you both. Who will get booted off the X-Factor tonight....?? I like Ray....aww such a cutie and a charismatic entertainer, and Leona...a stunning lass with a voice that melts you. Good luck finalists. X

9th November

I do like adventures..especially getting lost...which I did twice today from leaving Harefield for my break after all the tests were done - I had 4 hours until I would get my results. I decided to go for a drive (initially to find a petrol station)....to the unknown...yipes..how would I get back?....Panic... I spent about an hour trying to find my way back..he he (and still no petrol station in sight). Eventually, I found my way back and ended up at a local pub near the hospital for a late lunch. I also asked for directions to a petrol station - and went there after lunch - just another mini drive.

My consultant started to read through my results and said it looked there was a problem with my kidneys as the figures trebled over the last 2 weeks, and that my glucose levels had also trebled...gulp. He look baffled and so did I....hmm...he left the room....gulp...But, to my relief...on his returns he said that somebody had written in someone else's results instead of mine! Phew!...So, all was grand with me.

And more good news, one tablet has now been stopped called Valaclovir - which I was taking for the shingles. I am happy about this, as I was taking 6 tablets a day of these...and maybe my magnesium could be stopped soon...that will be looked into again next time. If shingles returns then I have been told that I will need to go back onto Valaclovir again. However....there is still the concern about chronic rejection...and my consultant said he is paranoid and it is his job to worry - not mine (only because of my situation with my anti-bodies and slow increase in lung function). I said, that maybe I am a bizarre case that may not actually get rejection. To which my consultant said, "YOU ARE A BIZARRE CASE"...and I laughed!

I was the last person to be seen in clinic today and left at 6pm...what a long day from arriving at 11am. So..home bound here I come..until I decided to get lost again and drive completely the opposite way on the M25....oh no...when I started to see signs for Heathrow Terminals, alarm bells started ringing. I spent nearly an hour getting back to where I started...oh deary me. Finally, on the correct path the thought of my lasagna kept me going - oh and the cheeky snickers bar I had whilst driving back..mmm tasty!

Home now and relaxing after all today's driving every where...and I'm going to make myself a cuppa. I like a good cup of tea..strongly brewed..milky (semi-skimmed) and no sugar in a mug not a tiny cup..he he. Enjoy your weekend everyone. X

8th November

Anyone for lasagna??...I had my dinner party last night which went very well and no one went home hungry..he he. Thanks to my Mum for buying the biggest deep oven dish ever - enough to cook 2 roast chickens or a large family size turkey! After 8 generous portions - there was still enough for another 9 people!!!

So...it feels like xmas already, istead of turkey pie, sandwiches....it will be lasagna for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So..next time anyone sees me, I will be sandwiched with layers of green pasta strips...oh well...he he.

I must have been so exhausted though from last night as I didn't wake up until 11am - gulp...and panicked as I needed to have taken my tablets hours ago - yipes. So, quickly got dressed and made my well deserved cuppa and sat down popping my pills!

Although, before the lasagna was ready I had a funny turn - wherby suddenly I felt sick, had a pain in my stomach, and went white as a ghost? Hmm..I was worried that I wouldn't be able to sit with everyone and enjoy the evening. So for a few minutes I sat on my own holding some paracetomol hoping the pain would just go away. I closed my eyes and just listened to everyone else chatting away in the other room....please go away pain..please. Right, I thought - I am going back to join everyone else and just have a great night..as the pain subsided a bit. And the rest as they is history..another day now and I feel fine.

I should inform you all about what is happening with the website and my art work. I have taken over from the website for a while now and my limitations with the software package, Dreamweaver..is starting to show - as I am stuck how to do certain things and make changes. I have now organised all my art work on my laptop and done some formatting - but I am now at a standstill. I have also have re-formatted a new layout for the front page of the website but again at another standstill how to make final changes with the software. Ahhhhhhhhh...annoying..can anyone help please? I could do a course in Dreamweaver that starts next year, but is a 10 week course..but I can't wait that long.........so impatient...hehe!! So, unless a miracle happens...sorry everyone - art work will take a while to complete..sob..sob..

I am back at my favourite home tomorrow - that being Harefield Hospital - so fingers crossed for another good day. I hope so, as I have a wedding to go to Friday and another on the Saturday..phew! Well..it's lunchtime now..and guess what I'm going to eat......MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm lasagna ....!! XX

3rd November

Another amazing thing I managed to do recently was.....sit ups!! When I joined the gym post transplant I tried a sit up, and I could only do half of one. My body was still sore, swollen, and cranky...he he. To my delight, I did 10 sit ups at the gym a few days ago with no problems..yippy!! I must be mad as I love doing sit ups...prior to my illness I used to do 100 (no lie) almost every day..and that is what I will be aiming for again. Don't worry I am not trying to be a female Arnie with a six-pack...but, it's good to be in shape. I am hoping in another month or so to start classes at the gym such as pilates (which again I used to do and love)...maybe a dance class again..or re-learn karate...so many options available to me now...it's great to have these choices as the more my body heals.

Also, those of you who have been following my diary from the start - would probably remember that my lungs tended to collapse with my menstrual cycle (linked to my illness), and I lived in fear every month of my lung collapsing. Well...how wonderful it is now not to have to worry about this anymore. I have been re-reading my diary entries from 2005, and have copied this insert for you all to re-read from 3rd February 2005....phew..I have come a long way...

" I can't believe all that I have been through recently - like another nightmare - and that I am still alive!! I was never even able to write about my 1st lung collapse again this year - before going back into hospital with another collapse - then another collapse whilst in hospital.

I am a fighter - and this has proved to be my hardest battle to date! I am still in a state of shock from what I have been through - and fearing lung collapses again..I just hope that this will be it now for a while.

Man I am still alive and I just don't know how - from unable to breathe for 10hours with a double lung collapse - top and bottom part of my only lung left. Some one did spare me...and I was saying my farewells to my fiance, brothers and their wives, Mum and Dad, my Aunty and Uncle and their daughter....what an experience....I am in shock that I never did pop.

I am still shaky..but smiling...somehow....hope I never have to go through that ever again.......roll on transplant ...please ..please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XX "

So with all my 13 lung collapses or so, few near death experiences and all the nasty infections along the way...here I am still...not shaky anymore and smiling..always smiling and full of positive energy!! Smiling so much now...I need to eat my lunch now, then smile again....take care everyone. XX

1st November

Pinch punch for the first day of the month.

Full steam ahead...what a great social life I have again - yippy! Next week I am cooking my famous lasagna and have some coming friends over, and I am really looking forward to doing this. I missed my own cooking whilst in hospital. Freedom in the big wide world is bliss...aww!

Next week - I have 2 weddings to go to aswell...phew...No doubt I will need recovery time after.

Also, I would like to thank everyone who has generously donated funds to the Harefield Hospital for the new scanner they are hoping to purchase. Anyone who still would like to help - this is the final month for doing so...thankyou.

Hmm..I have got to do my 2 nebulisers now..so off to do that. Byeeee 4 now. X